Questioning Death?

Part 1

Since the beginning of time, people of all ages, of all walks of life, question death. 

Well, the day you were born, you’re already on your path to death.  It’s a fact.  To live is to die.  So, life is death.  They are the same and one. 

Now, whilst we can’t dictate our own birth, and death of course is inevitable…there’s one thing though that we DO have complete control over – it’s the journey between these two points.  We can CHOOSE to start LIVING or CHOOSE to start dying. 

If you choose to “live”, then live it to the fullest – Live Each Day As It Were Your First (…not to live life as it were your last, but like the first day you were born…I don’t quite agree with being motivated by the idea of death, just so you can live life). Look at the world with curious eyes, with passion, without fear…yes, the world’s full of hope and possibilities…if you want it to be.  Even though most of us have grown cynical, fearful, and bitter as we age…the child in us never dies…we just have to look a bit harder...

Part 2

We also spend too much time contemplating what comes after death.  And it’s almost not acceptable for a person to die and just disappear forever from the face of this earth! 

The idea of heaven, rebirths…explains it…provides us with a sense of security…a sense of reassurance that it not’s the end even when we’re physically gone…it brings a sense of comfort to those who have lost their loved ones, knowing that their loved ones are in a better place.

But faiths aside, we’re never going to be really sure, are we? 

So, again, there’s no point…and no time to think of the afterlife.  Life’s too short.  The way I see it…while you’re here, just be the best person you can be and at the end of it all, let it be a celebration of life.

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Kids Ask the Darnest Things

I love children!  They are honest, direct.  They have no ulterior motives.  They don’t hold back.  They are unpretentious.  They are so much more than an adult can ever be.  You can learn a lot from the things they say…and ask, you know.  I certainly do. 

A couple once told me that they didn’t have answers to some of the “challenging” questions their little inquisitive daughter had for them.  And one of the questions that struck a chord with me is this…it's so simple and yet so very profound.

Why are there Malays, Indians and Chinese?

I can understand why the couple struggled with the question.  We are after all fundamentally the same, but unfortunately, we feel the need to make distinctions among ourselves.  We're judged by our race, color, creed, religion, sex, nationality, wealth and status and (are influenced too to) judge others based on these physical differences and beliefs.

It's an innocent question - but is nevertheless, a very important one.  And how the parents respond to it will set the foundation of how the kid sees the world.

Every completed jigsaw puzzle is made up of distinctly different pieces that fit perfectly together...if only more of us see this.

Mind Exercise, Anyone?

Meditation is a form of mind exercise/yoga.  It helps you let go of all thoughts, which include thoughts that instigate fear, worry, hatred, and sadness among others.

I learnt Taekwondo when I was a kid and I felt that one of the most difficult exercises was making the horse stance, ie. spread legs to shoulder width apart and lower your body by bending your legs without allowing the knee to go over your feet.  With hands on the hips, we were expected to keep this stance over long periods of time!  It was excruciatingly tiring and painful.  If we had to continue this physical torture non-stop, I could have easily collapsed.  Our mind works the same way.  The constant flow of thoughts and the feelings that stem from our thoughts will tire us out.  If we don’t learn to take breaks from the mental horse stance, our mind will eventually collapse.

It’s easy to take a breather from physical hardships, but who could really take time out from thinking… completely, utterly let go of thoughts altogether?!  Even if you sit down in a quiet place, listening to the music that you like, watching a movie that you like - these will all still provoke thoughts.  Why?  Because they are outside influences that can only give you a false sense of peace.  The truth is…if peace does not come from within you, it’s not peace.

There’re many meditative methods…and they are usually easier said than done.  Like being fully aware of your breathing is one way…no thoughts whatsoever, just being conscious of the inhaling, exhaling of air deep into and from your body, the gentle rising and lowering of your chest.  It was almost impossible at first for me…but even if you achieve one second of conscious breathing, that’s already a good achievement.  Be patient and gentle to yourself.  Once you’re better at it, you’ll find that you can hold your thoughts for longer periods of time.

From constant practice of this mind yoga, I’ve realized inner peace and relaxation, a sort of utter bliss that’s really hard to describe…when I come to, I would feel a renewed energy to face the world again. 

With this serenity of the mind, comes the realization that the most important things in life…are the simplest ones…things that we’ve taken for granted…like breathing, for example.  Hey, the most basic things in life are THE miracles.  Not when we’ve billions of dollars in our bank account.  Not when we’ve become a powerful person idolized by many.  Not even when we’ve found our one true love.  All this stuff can disappear as easy as they come…and when they do, we’re left with the basics… If we don’t even know how to appreciate the basics, we’re then left with nothing.

Our unhappiness comes from wanting too much in life.  Contemplate this – we come into this world alone, with no status, no pride, no money, no one with us, nothing and we leave this world the same way.  So, common sense tells us then to learn to appreciate ourselves like the day we were born.  The extra things we’ve gained throughout our life… are just icing on the cake.

Now, another major thing meditation has offered me is the gift of clarity.  As you try to NOT think when you meditate, thoughts will continue to flow into your mind.  I’ve learned to gently let them slide to the sides every time they come in…and before they manifest into vivid visuals and feelings.  Through this practice, I’ve also started to learn the art of being an observer of my own mind and thoughts.  Not like I’m controlling my mind or suppressing my feelings.  It's more like I’m learning to focus and understand them instead.  With understanding, I’m also able to see solutions clearly to problems I thought were impossible to solve before.  With understanding, what we thought were big problems, are actually and clearly not that major.  With understanding, we don’t get to the point of being frustrated, angry, fearful or even overly joyous.  It’s quite like I’m a third party looking on at another person’s life.  Don’t you think you can always see things more clearly and know what to do better for others, then when it comes to your own life?

Some call meditation religious, and a lot are now saying that it can promote good mental health based on scientific findings.  What do I say?  Well, I believe (and this is my personal opinion) that our much revered "forefathers" were wise beyond words to have created meditation or have instilled some form of it in the various religions because they knew the immense value of meditating, way back then.  Today’s experts took it one step beyond, to study and explain it in a more scientific way so more people can understand and accept its benefits.

Whatever it is – I can only explain meditation the way I’ve have experienced it - mind yoga is a little of peace, appreciation, focus, and understanding.  But above all else, it's about learning to love yourself.