Thank Goodness for Traffic Jams!

I spend an average of two hours a day stuck in traffic…and this is just the time travelling to and fro office.  This is equivalent to 730 hours, 30 days or 1 month on the road in a year, NOT counting the hours spent going out for meetings, running errands, etc etc; not counting the many more hours sitting stagnant in the car during heavy downpours, unexpected road closures, accidents, and roadblocks.

Now, if we spend so much of our lifetime in traffic, it naturally becomes a significant part of our life.  We can’t discount the impact it has on our emotional state, health and well-being.  So after decades of waiting it out in a car, this is my conclusion.

You can be totally enraged with the horrendous traffic jams (and the bad drivers) and suffer even more stress and heartaches (which we really don’t need in our complicated lives)…or make that BIG U-turn in your mind and put the “congested” situation to good use.

…and the top five things I learned from traffic jams *honk-roll*:

1)   Patience – in life, you can’t rush to achieve success and happiness.  What we CAN do is take one traffic light at a time, one bump at a time.  Sometimes, if there’s really nothing we can do…do nothing. Wait for the green light…which never fails to light up anyways.

2)   Open-mindedness – during heavy traffic, cars always move faster in the left/slow lane…just like life, if we’re fixated with what we think is the truth or what we think is right, we’ll miss out on greater, more creative opportunities.  Be open to new ideas, new possibilities.  Go with the flow.

3)   Calm & clarity – in any given situation, staying calm ensures you stay ahead of the game.  No matter how much some people or some things try to provoke the anger or frustration in you, let it slide.  Reacting to provocation on the road (or in life) is dangerous (to you and other “drivers”).  What’s more, it’s just ridiculous to bring anger on to yourself when the other party is not affected.

4)   Self-reflection – a traffic jam is a great way to spend time with the most important person in the world - yourself…a perfect way to end the day while listening to your favorite song or DJ.  Now, if you’re stuck in traffic with loved ones, then just take it as an opportunity to spend quality time with them.

5)   Last but not least, traffic jams do make me learn how to stop (and live in the moment).  You’ll need to silent the busy mind in order to see the way out. 

So, all I can say is…thank goodness for traffic jams! J

Live in the Now…

The past cannot be changed, and the future can only be determined by what you do now.

A long, long time ago, there was a very famous Clothing Maker.  She made the most heavenly-looking dresses, dresses well sought after by noble ladies, princesses, and queens from the four corners of the world.  She was also blessed with a caring husband and two beautiful children. 

Soon, her distinctive design and sewing skills and fame reached the ear of an Old Woman who lived oceans apart and deep in the woods of the world’s highest mountain.  This Old Woman used to have the most stunning appearance.  Her beauty envied by many women and loved by countless men.  But years flew past and she turned haggard and withered.   Thus, she stayed hidden in this secluded land so others would not be able to see how “ugly” she has become.  This exceptional clothing maker was her ticket out.

So, the Clothing Maker was summoned to Old Woman’s forbidden abode. “Design the world’s most exquisite dress that would make me look beautiful and young again!”  Confidently, the Clothing Maker then went to work to create “the world’s most exquisite dress” for this rich Old Woman.  And the day came when the Clothing Maker completed one of her best creations and sent it to the Old Woman.  The richness of the red velvet dress sewn together with sparkling rubies did look truly magnificent.  But no matter how the Old Woman turned and posed in front of the mirror, she looked the same – hunched and wrinkled.  “How could this be?!” thought the Clothing Maker, alarmed and confused.  She was the best clothing maker in the world after all!  There was no way she could not make the Old Woman looked good.  So it was that the Clothing Maker was sent home, without pay.

Clothing Maker then locked herself in her sewing room, trying to re-make the dress for the Old Woman…days passed, the house was left unattended, her family uncared for…then, years went by, her family moved away, thick dust and cobwebs settled in the house…ignorant to her surroundings, she pushed doggedly ahead.  Then, one day, the Old Woman passed away…Clothing Maker was devastated that she still couldn’t make the perfect dress for the Old Woman before she died.  With this realization, she suddenly felt a draft of cold air swept passed her, smelled the pungent odor of her unwashed body, heard the eerie silence of the house, and for the first time in years, saw that she had nothing left.

Live in the now.

Be a Creator

We’re bound to live through the various experiences in life - the ups and downs, the wonderful and the painful, the significant experiences and the minor ones, that shape the way we are.  The only thing we can do...is to embrace them all. 

I believe that the most fortunate people are those who HAVE many, many opportunities to experience life.  The most fortunate and wise ones though are those who TAKE the experiences as opportunities to learn and grow. 

And then, there’s another type of people who CREATE life’s experiences.  If you could overcome your challenges, imagine how much more farther you could go if you daringly *do one thing every day that scares you.  The sky’s the limit!  *Quote by Eleanor Roosevelt and which has been a source of inspiration for me.  

So, come out of your safety zone.  Say YES.  Say YOU CAN.  Go out there and start making mistakes.  Go out there and screw up your life, that’s what I’m saying.  Because only then…only then, will you realize your fullest potential and be the best that you can be.

Wise “Words” or Wisdom?

Books and wise advice don’t work.  Reading gives you information and enriches the mind.  Wise advice gives you knowledge and makes you ponder…for a short while…but they don’t give you the kind of insight and understanding that life’s experiences do.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong in reading and listening for inspiration but frankly, they have no profound, long-standing impact in your life.  My uncle who used to gorge on plates of “nasi lemak” and “char koay teow” knew it was unhealthy to eat these fatty foods.  Yes, he read about the “benefits of taking nutritious diets”, heard the countless grumbles from his wife, heeded the warnings from his doctor.  Sure, he tried.  To be fair, he tried hard.  But he always, somehow, ended up…savoring his “nasi lemak” and “char koay teow” with a relish….well, until the day he had to do his heart bypass.  Articles on heart health – knowledge.  Nagging from wife and doctor – irritation.  Bypass surgery – experience that bestowed him with the wisdom to make that big change in his life.  Of course, this story is perhaps painting it too harsh – and why do we always have to go through something so devastating to change?

To something lighter then.  My four-year-old nephew is a stubborn boy…like most kids his age are.  It’s amusing to observe the constant tests of willpower between parents and child.  One Saturday, as we were out shopping together, this little fellow, as usual, had the excitement and energy of an Energizer bunny.  To his parents’ frustration, shouts of “Don’t run or else…!  You’ll fall!  Be careful” only spurred him on.  Before they start to pull their hair out or start spanking the little one’s backside, this aunty stepped in.  “Just…let him run,” I said.  They were totally bewildered by the thought of…just letting it be.  “Kids need their space too, you know?”  “Huh?!!  Are you nuts?!” his parents said.  I told them to trust me and let him be.  So, he ran and ran and ran…and he ran so fast that…he went right smack into a pillar.  Nothing too serious, just a small bump on his forehead but a really, really painful experience.  For the rest of the day, he stopped running.

Books and wise advice don’t work – they alone can’t help you, but used in tandem with life’s experiences…now, that’s powerful!  Be thankful for the good things in life but be extra thankful for the challenges and mistakes, because they are only there to help make you a wiser person.